Fatherless on Father’s Day

I would like to start by saying that I love Father’s Day. There is nobody in this world more deserving of a BBQ and a couple handmade cards than the dads of the world. I am so glad to see so many people spending time with their dads and telling them how much they love them while they’re still here. On the other hand, Father’s Day for someone who has lost an incredible dad (me, in case you didn’t put that together) SUCKS.

For a solid month, every store is filled with “Best Dad Ever” merchandise, and ever since the dawn of technology, it’s even worse. Advertisements for “the perfect gift for dad” take over Instagram, Facebook, and even Twitter. Radio stations play songs about fatherhood for a whole week, and my favorite radio station even spent all of Father’s Day weekend having listeners call in and share their favorite stories about their dads. Once Father’s Day finally rolled around, everyone on the planet posted pictures of them with their dads. At first, I thought I was angry at everyone for still having a dad. Then I realized I was just sad.

Kids my age posted pictures of their multi-generational Father’s Days with their fathers and grandfathers. People older than me shared pictures of their father-daughter dances at their weddings, and photos of their fathers holding their brand new baby. All of these people got to watch their dad become a grandpa. They got to dance with their dad on their wedding day. My dad won’t even get meet whoever I end up marrying.

Then I realized I actually was mad. At God.

Why would a loving God take away my dad? My dad was funnier than all the other dads . . . nicer than all the other dads . . . he even gave a brand new umbrella to a homeless man in Manhattan even though he still needed it. Why why why would God take such a positive force off Earth?

A few weeks after my dad passed away, my mom and I attended a mass with a homily that stuck with me like no other. The priest told the congregation that he often has people come into confession to say that they were angry at God. But he said that isn’t a sin.

Think about a few different relationships you have with others and try to think of times that you were angry with them. You should notice that the people you are closest to and love the most are also the people you get angry at the most. The priest told us that anger at God is just a sign of a living relationship, and the fact that we get angry at God rather than simply abandoning Him is a testament to that relationship.

So yes. I spent the whole week leading up to Father’s Day hysterically crying in public, and all of Father’s Day weekend boiling with anger, and hopefully tomorrow will be better, but if not, that’s okay.

5 thoughts on “Fatherless on Father’s Day

  1. Gina Daddy was and still is the best father I have ever known. U can still celebrate him on fathers day cause he will ALWAYS be your Dad. That will never change. Love you

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  2. Gina i know every single feeling you posted in this blog. I went years angry that people still had a dad. I too was your age when I lost my dad.
    I wrote in a journal for the first years all about it. I even wrote him letters.
    The best thing that happen to me was that my dad chose who was going to marry his daughter before I knew him.
    That anger does go away over time.
    The feelings go back and forth .
    He is always with you.
    Love you G💗😘

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  3. Gina…having lost my Dad at 10, and then loosing my step Dad, who was in my life longer then my Dad, I know the anger you feel 😞 I wish I could say it gets better or lessens in its intensity, but I am not sure it does. I think it just changes, some years it isn’t as bad, and others it is the same, but I guess you learn to adjust. Your Dad was an amazing man and is your guardian angel that will be at your side always…love to all the Mingoia ladies ❤️❤️

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  4. Love you guys so much!! Sal is looking down with such love and pride . Sending you all my love and tight hugs ❤️❤️❤️

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  5. Gina,
    For many years I did the same, cried and was cranky for weeks before a special day that was important to my parents, once the “DAY” passed I felt such a sense of relief. I will always feel sad and wish they could be here to celebrate life’s important events. Just recently I discovered that when I feel my sadness is at a all time low, I need to celebrate them. On days I miss my mom, I cook something she taught me, I have a strawberry shake(a favorite of hers). The memories and healing are in the small things that bring a smile or a tear. Xo Donna

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