I would like to start by saying that I love Father’s Day. There is nobody in this world more deserving of a BBQ and a couple handmade cards than the dads of the world. I am so glad to see so many people spending time with their dads and telling them how much they love them while they’re still here. On the other hand, Father’s Day for someone who has lost an incredible dad (me, in case you didn’t put that together) SUCKS.
For a solid month, every store is filled with “Best Dad Ever” merchandise, and ever since the dawn of technology, it’s even worse. Advertisements for “the perfect gift for dad” take over Instagram, Facebook, and even Twitter. Radio stations play songs about fatherhood for a whole week, and my favorite radio station even spent all of Father’s Day weekend having listeners call in and share their favorite stories about their dads. Once Father’s Day finally rolled around, everyone on the planet posted pictures of them with their dads. At first, I thought I was angry at everyone for still having a dad. Then I realized I was just sad.
Kids my age posted pictures of their multi-generational Father’s Days with their fathers and grandfathers. People older than me shared pictures of their father-daughter dances at their weddings, and photos of their fathers holding their brand new baby. All of these people got to watch their dad become a grandpa. They got to dance with their dad on their wedding day. My dad won’t even get meet whoever I end up marrying.
Then I realized I actually was mad. At God.
Why would a loving God take away my dad? My dad was funnier than all the other dads . . . nicer than all the other dads . . . he even gave a brand new umbrella to a homeless man in Manhattan even though he still needed it. Why why why would God take such a positive force off Earth?
A few weeks after my dad passed away, my mom and I attended a mass with a homily that stuck with me like no other. The priest told the congregation that he often has people come into confession to say that they were angry at God. But he said that isn’t a sin.
Think about a few different relationships you have with others and try to think of times that you were angry with them. You should notice that the people you are closest to and love the most are also the people you get angry at the most. The priest told us that anger at God is just a sign of a living relationship, and the fact that we get angry at God rather than simply abandoning Him is a testament to that relationship.
So yes. I spent the whole week leading up to Father’s Day hysterically crying in public, and all of Father’s Day weekend boiling with anger, and hopefully tomorrow will be better, but if not, that’s okay.